.the past. will you be here~? blogger "I see in your eyes, The same fear that would take the heart of me, A day may come when the courage of men fail, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day, THIS DAY WE FIGHT!" *Aragon from ROTK As is a war cry, the Oracles roared out an earth-shattering '1,2,3...O's' before every inning and struck fear into the hearts of their opponents LINKS: Aileen Brian Cindy Darren Danielle Narita Anime Suki Blizzard Boajjang Doug Haeng Initial D Love Story Mitsubishi LanEvo Transformers Wong Fu Videos Yeti Sports Your Christian Home Addictive Racing Game product of dinah.k
Duel G's mindless rambling... ["A person cannot gain something without losing something, To gain something you need equal value. This is the law of conservation" - Full Metal Alchemist]
Saturday, April 17, 2004 Funnie videos i got from my Muiz, heart warming and funnie!! hehehe http://www.wongfuproductions.com/ourvideos.htm the Harlem one! sweet soo sweet, and the other ones are just as good, if your bored, cause today everyone seem soo bored on MSN hehe and the lyrics are at: http://lyrics.my-ayu.com/qingfeideyi.html heheh i'm still dizzy, should get off the computer soon.. \| dreamt by Matt on 4/17/2004 11:41:00 p.m. Friday, April 16, 2004 just watching a chinese drama series today with my mother, since i was too ill to go to school, man i most likely got hwk taller than me =P, but a character dies in th movie, a good guy...and his wife misses him the most after his death and never really cherished him until after his death...soo i guess it's a lil wake up call that everyone around us we should cherish every moment with them, every convo with them, cause you never know when they may leave this earth...or mabbe your not going to be there tomorrow? death? like Alfred was talking about on my baptism day....afraid to lose a loved one.....i agree...i would be scared too, but not as much as seeing a loved one pass away without knowing Christ, now thats scary...sigh seem soo out, lost and lonely, mabbe because i'm sick i was thinking way too much, just lying in bed thinking about stuff...life..frds... \| dreamt by Matt on 4/16/2004 11:58:00 p.m. Thursday, April 15, 2004 wish i was kid again....life was soo easy and carefree and worryless! and as you get older things are soo much more complicated and it takes a lot out of you I guess...being a kid was soo much fun i wish i can turn time backwards...it was soo much fun and the memories is all i have now....this is the final year and i might stay back i'm not sure, but this summer is a good and bad thing, we will move on and take another big step in life from being a "teen" to a young adult i guess.. It feels like yesterday i finish kindergraden and made my 1st couple of frds and in just finsih coming home from by best frds house....the tree we use to play around at recess time...sigh recess!!! how i miss that...remember Mr. Ray tell us this is out last recess enjoy it cause in jr. high theres no recess..soo many memories... just yesterday i was in jr. high and i met some of the coolest white frds i've ever had and Berto sooo many fun things we've been through together..sigh Pokémon aiya! i don't belief those were some interesting times....spend sooo much time collecting that i didn't even play the game just collect my fav. lil creatures how sad...and i STILL have them lolz!! just yesterday i graduated from jr. high and was about to start in a new school MPC...just yesterday i met up with Tim again wow this guy we've been frds since gr.5 man i love him...he got me through gr.9 heheh thnx man As we get older is seems like we got more problems cause we learn more, and we knwo more i guess, soo with more knowledge i guess it's not that good, cause some things are better not known and knowing it...(hope that made sense i'm still sick) missed a whole day of school sleeping in....had some weird dreams about driving in a WRC with an Audi A4???? thats just wack and Ray Wong was there too i beat him! then i found him later in the race, he crashed but was in one piece hehe...i dunnoo soo out of it..cold...lonely i guess no hwk! only cause i didn't go, but i know i have soo much to do this is the final 2 months of hell..i mean school i HAtE School...how am i suppose to grow up and go to university? when i still wanna be a kid!! cause being a teen is soo stressful and soo much crap is poured on us...sigh \| dreamt by Matt on 4/15/2004 07:53:00 p.m. Tuesday, April 13, 2004 Muiz you are wrong your not crouched alone in the crowd, Jesus is there crouching along beside of you, yeah i know that your "core" is fallin and it's hard, but give it time and it will heal and you will be happier i guess...i'm sorrie, but i must fall in front of the Lord with my wrongs/problems and you can't always help me, though you try soo hard this time i'll fall on my own....sorrie muiz i know your love, but your right to give up on ur gor gor this time around... Beautiful Letdown by Switchfoot It was a beautiful letdown when I crashed and burned when I found myself alone, unknown and hurt it was a beautiful letdown the day I knew that all the riches this world had to offer me would never do In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in, until I found out I don't belong here I don't belong here I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong It was a beautiful letdown when you found me here yeah for once in a rare blue moon I see everything clear I'll be a beautiful letdown thats what I'll forever be and though it may cost my soul I'll sing for free we're still chasing our tails in the rising sun in our dark water planet still spins in a race where no one wins and no one's one see I don't belong here I don't belong here I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong I don't belong here I don't belong here I'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come kingdom come Your kingdom come won't you let me down yeah let my foolish pride forever let me down easy living, you're not much like your name easy dying, hey you look just about the same would you please take me off your list easy living, please come on and let me down we are a beautiful letdown, painfully uncool, the church of the drop outs, the losers, the sinners, the failures, and the fools oh what a beautiful letdown are we salt in the wound and let us sing one true tune I don't belong here I don't belong here I don't belong here Feels like I don't belong here Would you let me down Come on and let me down You always let me down So glad that I'm let down Come on and let me down Cuz I don't belong to you Please Won't you let me down? i will dig my way outta this hole when i find the reason why i'm down here in the first place...now i shall go sleep! ^_^ i got better news but don't feel like writing about it, mabbe later.....hmmmm \| dreamt by Matt on 4/13/2004 11:26:00 p.m. Monday, April 12, 2004 Feeling lost, confused and helpless, Lord help me get some sleep tonight and depend on you fully to watch over the ones i love Lord..With you all things are possible and i pray that i can follow in ur footsteps Lord, for you are the ultimate World Idol and we should all follow yours ways, but as Angela said today Lord we're human and we fall all the time, we're unworthy of your love, grace, blessings, and the ultimate sacrifice...Lord Thank You and that this will stay with me and my bad memory Lord..that the gifts and cards will be there to serve as a reminder of you daily and i thank you, for all you have given me, Albert's encouraging Blog and how much you show us, if we have the faith to see it, i guess, and BASIC that are there that give encouraging comments or advice Lord i thank you for the ones that touched me today, too many to name..just being back on MSN showed me how much good can come out of the bad(procrastination) thank you once again =P \| dreamt by Matt on 4/12/2004 11:56:00 p.m. Baptism!! Woke up in the morning with 5 hrs of sleep, because i couldn't reallie sleep from blogging my last entry that under this one i think..yeah CONGRATS to my fellow Bros James, Derrick, Jeremy and Keith for being baptized with me today! and to my BASIC in TCAC for sharing spiritual b-days! Gabe, Amanda, Shanno, and Jess!!! hehe CONGRATS to you ppl too!!! God loves you! =) Afterward took many fun pics with my fellowship and NaBaNa!!! yeah! then went out for Jap. Buffet on the Danforth near Pape which was too filling soo much RICE! omgosh and being a chinese person and all you think I would be able to handle THAT much rice i dunno lolz! ohh well...i think i've fallen into Satan's hands over thinking way too much stuff...sigh on my Spiritual B-day i got hit hard by Satan and fell...not good at all..wasn't until later that day talking to my blessed Muiz that i learn soo much from her and how blind i can be by Satan's evil ways that i sometimes lose sight of God's good grace and love....it's a good day to reflect and rebuild my defence against Satan's future attacks on me!, hehe i still can't get over Jo'z blog (sorrie to put you in the spot) but the SATAN YOU SUX Go away!! was jokes and very True, cause with God on our side we got the best Defence against Satan's daily attacks on us to fall.. \| dreamt by Matt on 4/12/2004 05:54:00 p.m. Long Weekend!!!! Joys! Sorrows... Sunday, April 11, 2004 There is a lot to say about this wonderful long weekend away from school ewww.. Friday: Happy Baptism Jo!!!!! hehehe lil late, but yeah happy sipirtual B-day!!! woke up no to well, had an Ok sleep, and rushed the morning with numerous phone calls from ppl about the events for the day, ended up being just pee-off and just blasting music into my ears to calm down. theres no one to balme but my temper and stupidity...but had a good time cooking at Kbbq, though felt lonely and left out and distance from everyone, even my most loved ones....just alone in this world and that there is no real happiness, and it's all temporary as my last post mentions..Thnx Darren for the comment you soo cool! =P So yeah just didn't feel right, maybe it's my emotions or wutevers but it didn't feel right at all, found out i bruised myself from my rage earlier today, and wanting to die and get hit by a car!! darn it..went to Albert's Rez to play Jitz, but it was closed pooie =( but we ended hanging around the building, and flash flash revolution lolz. happy to see Albert and his beautiful living area. it was a werid day just trying to reach out to someone soo close to you though it felt soo far away and distance and anger flaring up for no good reason and just plain emptiness inside of me.... Head up to Good Friday Service which was soo cool, and how everything was set up into the 7 sections of Jesus dying for us..and i brought my sorrows of the day up to our heavenly father and it felt great afterwards, playing slapping game (which i popped a whole bunch of veins in my left hand it's all red!) and a good old game of Mafia!!!and Nancy should have less sugar, she scared me poucing on my cards like that!!!! afterward had a really enjoyable time with Nelson, Gloria, Nancy and Alice, and we tested Gloria on cars lolz she scored a 90 with Nelson and a 96 from me, she lost marks on a very embrassing moment i don't think i should name it (ask Gloria about it!! heheh) yeah soo a bad day turning into a good day in the end! =) and better news at night from a loved one of mine. =) Saturday: more like today earlier it was bad getting into a small arguement with my mother, but iit ended ok i guess, my mom's got a big heart and a lot of love and forgiveness thnx mom! and i go meet up with my muiz to go shoot some pool which was fun, though i lost to her 1-4 aiya!! stupid 8 ball!!! 2 times!!! screwed up when the game was mine!!! ohh well it was fun playing pool and drooling over bikes with my "blessed" muiz. head to my place to cook a quick dinner to eat and head to Forward to go Playdium, man that place is sooooo out of date it's just SAD!!!! reallie wasn't worth the money, no wonder theres hardly ppl there man it's soo sad!!! all the games were like ancient man like come one update yourself if you wanna be the "best entertaining place" it's soo soo sad...anywayz had a good time hanging out with my muiz, beat her in Air Hockey, and did some crazy DDR!!!! hehehe, took a break and had a intresting convo, until it was kinda disturbed by someone, which turned into another interesting convo (though i wanted to kill myself) it was ok, still couldn't finish the convo right.....sigh ppl can be soo sew hey, but ohh well just hung out with the ones i brought playing too much shooting games, my arms don't feel good. People.......Christian???....Church? Community?? : i'm not going to mention the name of this church, but i'll be bashing it a bit i guess....heres the question to all of you, if ur a christian or non-christian..How is a Church suppose to feel like to you? most would say a friendly place right? cause they're christians they have God's love in them to welcome and love others right?? make new comers feel wlecome, soo they might wanna come back and learn more about God and stuff right? thats a general answer that ppl would say i'm guessing..cause everyone is different right? well take me for example a christian trying to meet other BASIC right? and walking into another church should feel welcoming and all, though there are like 2-3 ppl who are friendly/nice or wutever yeah but just don't feel welcome, cause i'm not WHITE?!?! is that it? or i'm just not use to white ppl in general i'm not sure, i'm working to change that but it's hard to change right? so today i walk into the church sure it's not my 1st time trying to get to know other BAISC, but theres no one who seems freindly enuff to start a convo, or it's mabe because i'm with the frds i brought i dunno, it was ok i guess not welcomed/ not unwelcomed but yeah..go to playdium and i end up wanting to send someone to the grave and i was sure a ready to kill and this is just wrong right? cause i'm being dunked in less than 24hrs and i'm thinking about killing??!?!? wuts the world coming too!! well wut kind of church is soooooo welcoming with ppl with fake smiles, punching you for no reason, making STUPID ass comments and jokes?? jokes that are HURTFUL! wasting your cell phone minutes!, RUDENESS!!! like Dang! they call themselves Christian? Fellowship? a community?....sigh i know i'm not the one to judge these ppl, and i'm not prefect at doing everything on that list, though i may (i don't think soo) be guilty for those charges i mentioned....you would expect a lil more niceness, like a non-christian would be scared (thnx God i didn't invite any) i felt soo freakin bitter, upset, angry....and i wanna lift it up to you Lord and let you take care of me...i can't take it anymore i need you Lord i want you, give peace in my heart and forgive these Christians/ppl(is they are non-chirstians i dunno)..today has been a vice-versa of yesterday in a way good then bad, yesterday bad then good.....yeah mabbe i can think more positive than i usually doo (which is negative), but sometimes things ppl do just can tick you off soo bad you become another person (a beast) i dunno.. it's nearing 3:30 am and i'm suppose to witness and get dunked in less than 7 hrs....sigh thing the world can do to you, think there a ome in every church heck no, theres the ones that are assigned by God for you for his plans are prefect, sure if God's in the place you should be able to go to any church and still praise him and all, but the BASIC in the church are important too to help your spiritual growth and all and i know that this church is not the place for me.....this is how i feel...talk to me if you wanna discuss of have a solution to my problem here it would be helpful thnx.. \| dreamt by Matt on 4/11/2004 03:59:00 a.m.

Saturday, April 17, 2004

Funnie videos i got from my Muiz, heart warming and funnie!! hehehe
http://www.wongfuproductions.com/ourvideos.htm the Harlem one! sweet soo sweet, and the other ones are just as good, if your bored, cause today everyone seem soo bored on MSN hehe and the lyrics are at: http://lyrics.my-ayu.com/qingfeideyi.html
heheh i'm still dizzy, should get off the computer soon..

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dreamt by Matt on 4/17/2004 11:41:00 p.m.

Friday, April 16, 2004

just watching a chinese drama series today with my mother, since i was too ill to go to school, man i most likely got hwk taller than me =P, but a character dies in th movie, a good guy...and his wife misses him the most after his death and never really cherished him until after his death...soo i guess it's a lil wake up call that everyone around us we should cherish every moment with them, every convo with them, cause you never know when they may leave this earth...or mabbe your not going to be there tomorrow? death? like Alfred was talking about on my baptism day....afraid to lose a loved one.....i agree...i would be scared too, but not as much as seeing a loved one pass away without knowing Christ, now thats scary...*sigh*
seem soo out, lost and lonely, mabbe because i'm sick i was thinking way too much, just lying in bed thinking about stuff...life..frds...

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dreamt by Matt on 4/16/2004 11:58:00 p.m.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

wish i was kid again....life was soo easy and carefree and worryless! and as you get older things are soo much more complicated and it takes a lot out of you I guess...being a kid was soo much fun i wish i can turn time backwards...it was soo much fun and the memories is all i have now....this is the final year and i might stay back i'm not sure, but this summer is a good and bad thing, we will move on and take another big step in life from being a "teen" to a young adult i guess..
It feels like yesterday i finish kindergraden and made my 1st couple of frds and in just finsih coming home from by best frds house....the tree we use to play around at recess time...*sigh* recess!!! how i miss that...remember Mr. Ray tell us this is out last recess enjoy it cause in jr. high theres no recess..soo many memories...
just yesterday i was in jr. high and i met some of the coolest white frds i've ever had and Berto sooo many fun things we've been through together..*sigh* Pokémon aiya! i don't belief those were some interesting times....spend sooo much time collecting that i didn't even play the game just collect my fav. lil creatures how sad...and i STILL have them lolz!!
just yesterday i graduated from jr. high and was about to start in a new school MPC...just yesterday i met up with Tim again wow this guy we've been frds since gr.5 man i love him...he got me through gr.9 heheh thnx man
As we get older is seems like we got more problems cause we learn more, and we knwo more i guess, soo with more knowledge i guess it's not that good, cause some things are better not known and knowing it...(hope that made sense i'm still sick) missed a whole day of school sleeping in....had some weird dreams about driving in a WRC with an Audi A4???? thats just wack and Ray Wong was there too i beat him! then i found him later in the race, he crashed but was in one piece hehe...i dunnoo soo out of it..cold...lonely i guess no hwk! only cause i didn't go, but i know i have soo much to do this is the final 2 months of hell..i mean school i HAtE School...how am i suppose to grow up and go to university? when i still wanna be a kid!!
cause being a teen is soo stressful and soo much crap is poured on us...*sigh*

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dreamt by Matt on 4/15/2004 07:53:00 p.m.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Muiz you are wrong your not crouched alone in the crowd, Jesus is there crouching along beside of you, yeah i know that your "core" is fallin and it's hard, but give it time and it will heal and you will be happier i guess...i'm sorrie, but i must fall in front of the Lord with my wrongs/problems and you can't always help me, though you try soo hard this time i'll fall on my own....sorrie muiz i know your love, but your right to give up on ur gor gor this time around...

Beautiful Letdown
by Switchfoot
It was a beautiful letdown
when I crashed and burned
when I found myself alone, unknown and hurt
it was a beautiful letdown
the day I knew
that all the riches this world had to offer me
would never do

In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
until I found out
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song
where I don't belong

It was a beautiful letdown
when you found me here
yeah for once in a rare blue moon
I see everything clear

I'll be a beautiful letdown
thats what I'll forever be
and though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free
we're still chasing our tails in the rising sun
in our dark water planet still spins in a race
where no one wins and no one's one

see I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song
where I don't belong
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come
kingdom come
Your kingdom come
won't you let me down yeah
let my foolish pride
forever let me down

easy living, you're not much like your name
easy dying, hey you look just about the same
would you please take me off your list
easy living, please come on and let me down

we are a beautiful letdown,
painfully uncool,
the church of the drop outs, the losers, the sinners,
the failures, and the fools
oh what a beautiful letdown
are we salt in the wound
and let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Feels like I don't belong here

Would you let me down
Come on and let me down
You always let me down
So glad that I'm let down

Come on and let me down
Cuz I don't belong to you
Please
Won't you let me down?

i will dig my way outta this hole when i find the reason why i'm down here in the first place...now i shall go sleep! ^_^
i got better news but don't feel like writing about it, mabbe later.....hmmmm

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dreamt by Matt on 4/13/2004 11:26:00 p.m.

Monday, April 12, 2004

Feeling lost, confused and helpless, Lord help me get some sleep tonight and depend on you fully to watch over the ones i love Lord..With you all things are possible and i pray that i can follow in ur footsteps Lord, for you are the ultimate World Idol and we should all follow yours ways, but as Angela said today Lord we're human and we fall all the time, we're unworthy of your love, grace, blessings, and the ultimate sacrifice...Lord Thank You and that this will stay with me and my bad memory Lord..that the gifts and cards will be there to serve as a reminder of you daily and i thank you, for all you have given me, Albert's encouraging Blog and how much you show us, if we have the faith to see it, i guess, and BASIC that are there that give encouraging comments or advice Lord i thank you for the ones that touched me today, too many to name..just being back on MSN showed me how much good can come out of the bad(procrastination) thank you once again =P

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dreamt by Matt on 4/12/2004 11:56:00 p.m.

Baptism!!

Woke up in the morning with 5 hrs of sleep, because i couldn't reallie sleep from blogging my last entry that under this one i think..yeah
CONGRATS to my fellow Bros James, Derrick, Jeremy and Keith for being baptized with me today! and to my BASIC in TCAC for sharing spiritual b-days! Gabe, Amanda, Shanno, and Jess!!! hehe CONGRATS to you ppl too!!! God loves you! =)
Afterward took many fun pics with my fellowship and NaBaNa!!! yeah! then went out for Jap. Buffet on the Danforth near Pape which was too filling soo much RICE! omgosh and being a chinese person and all you think I would be able to handle THAT much rice i dunno lolz! ohh well...i think i've fallen into Satan's hands over thinking way too much stuff...*sigh* on my Spiritual B-day i got hit hard by Satan and fell...not good at all..wasn't until later that day talking to my blessed Muiz that i learn soo much from her and how blind i can be by Satan's evil ways that i sometimes lose sight of God's good grace and love....it's a good day to reflect and rebuild my defence against Satan's future attacks on me!, hehe i still can't get over Jo'z blog (sorrie to put you in the spot) but the SATAN YOU SUX Go away!! was jokes and very True, cause with God on our side we got the best Defence against Satan's daily attacks on us to fall..

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dreamt by Matt on 4/12/2004 05:54:00 p.m.

Long Weekend!!!! Joys! Sorrows...

Sunday, April 11, 2004

There is a lot to say about this wonderful long weekend away from school ewww..
Friday:
Happy Baptism Jo!!!!! hehehe lil late, but yeah happy sipirtual B-day!!!
woke up no to well, had an Ok sleep, and rushed the morning with numerous phone calls from ppl about the events for the day, ended up being just pee-off and just blasting music into my ears to calm down. theres no one to balme but my temper and stupidity...but had a good time cooking at Kbbq, though felt lonely and left out and distance from everyone, even my most loved ones....just alone in this world and that there is no real happiness, and it's all temporary as my last post mentions..Thnx Darren for the comment you soo cool! =P
So yeah just didn't feel right, maybe it's my emotions or wutevers but it didn't feel right at all, found out i bruised myself from my rage earlier today, and wanting to die and get hit by a car!! darn it..went to Albert's Rez to play Jitz, but it was closed pooie =( but we ended hanging around the building, and flash flash revolution lolz. happy to see Albert and his beautiful living area. it was a werid day just trying to reach out to someone soo close to you though it felt soo far away and distance and anger flaring up for no good reason and just plain emptiness inside of me....
Head up to Good Friday Service which was soo cool, and how everything was set up into the 7 sections of Jesus dying for us..and i brought my sorrows of the day up to our heavenly father and it felt great afterwards, playing slapping game (which i popped a whole bunch of veins in my left hand it's all red!) and a good old game of Mafia!!!and Nancy should have less sugar, she scared me poucing on my cards like that!!!! afterward had a really enjoyable time with Nelson, Gloria, Nancy and Alice, and we tested Gloria on cars lolz she scored a 90 with Nelson and a 96 from me, she lost marks on a very embrassing moment i don't think i should name it (ask Gloria about it!! heheh) yeah soo a bad day turning into a good day in the end! =) and better news at night from a loved one of mine. =)
Saturday: more like today earlier
it was bad getting into a small arguement with my mother, but iit ended ok i guess, my mom's got a big heart and a lot of love and forgiveness thnx mom! and i go meet up with my muiz to go shoot some pool which was fun, though i lost to her 1-4 aiya!! stupid 8 ball!!! 2 times!!! screwed up when the game was mine!!! ohh well it was fun playing pool and drooling over bikes with my "blessed" muiz. head to my place to cook a quick dinner to eat and head to Forward to go Playdium, man that place is sooooo out of date it's just SAD!!!! reallie wasn't worth the money, no wonder theres hardly ppl there man it's soo sad!!! all the games were like ancient man like come one update yourself if you wanna be the "best entertaining place" it's soo soo sad...anywayz had a good time hanging out with my muiz, beat her in Air Hockey, and did some crazy DDR!!!! hehehe, took a break and had a intresting convo, until it was kinda disturbed by someone, which turned into another interesting convo (though i wanted to kill myself) it was ok, still couldn't finish the convo right.....*sigh* ppl can be soo *sew hey*, but ohh well just hung out with the ones i brought playing too much shooting games, my arms don't feel good.
People.......Christian???....Church? Community?? :
i'm not going to mention the name of this church, but i'll be bashing it a bit i guess....heres the question to all of you, if ur a christian or non-christian..How is a Church suppose to feel like to you? most would say a friendly place right? cause they're christians they have God's love in them to welcome and love others right?? make new comers feel wlecome, soo they might wanna come back and learn more about God and stuff right? thats a general answer that ppl would say i'm guessing..cause everyone is different right? well take me for example a christian trying to meet other BASIC right? and walking into another church should feel welcoming and all, though there are like 2-3 ppl who are friendly/nice or wutever yeah but just don't feel welcome, cause i'm not WHITE?!?! is that it? or i'm just not use to white ppl in general i'm not sure, i'm working to change that but it's hard to change right? so today i walk into the church sure it's not my 1st time trying to get to know other BAISC, but theres no one who seems freindly enuff to start a convo, or it's mabe because i'm with the frds i brought i dunno, it was ok i guess not welcomed/ not unwelcomed but yeah..go to playdium and i end up wanting to send someone to the grave and i was sure a ready to kill and this is just wrong right? cause i'm being dunked in less than 24hrs and i'm thinking about killing??!?!? wuts the world coming too!! well wut kind of church is soooooo welcoming with ppl with fake smiles, punching you for no reason, making STUPID ass comments and jokes?? jokes that are HURTFUL! wasting your cell phone minutes!, RUDENESS!!! like Dang! they call themselves Christian? Fellowship? a community?....*sigh* i know i'm not the one to judge these ppl, and i'm not prefect at doing everything on that list, though i may (i don't think soo) be guilty for those charges i mentioned....you would expect a lil more niceness, like a non-christian would be scared (thnx God i didn't invite any) i felt soo freakin bitter, upset, angry....and i wanna lift it up to you Lord and let you take care of me...i can't take it anymore i need you Lord i want you, give peace in my heart and forgive these Christians/ppl(is they are non-chirstians i dunno)..today has been a vice-versa of yesterday in a way good then bad, yesterday bad then good.....yeah mabbe i can think more positive than i usually doo (which is negative), but sometimes things ppl do just can tick you off soo bad you become another person (a beast) i dunno.. it's nearing 3:30 am and i'm suppose to witness and get dunked in less than 7 hrs....*sigh* thing the world can do to you, think there a ome in every church heck no, theres the ones that are assigned by God for you for his plans are prefect, sure if God's in the place you should be able to go to any church and still praise him and all, but the BASIC in the church are important too to help your spiritual growth and all and i know that this church is not the place for me.....this is how i feel...talk to me if you wanna discuss of have a solution to my problem here it would be helpful thnx..

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dreamt by Matt on 4/11/2004 03:59:00 a.m.

Duel G's mindless rambling... ["A person cannot gain something without losing something, To gain something you need equal value. This is the law of conservation" - Full Metal Alchemist]