.the past. will you be here~? blogger "I see in your eyes, The same fear that would take the heart of me, A day may come when the courage of men fail, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day, THIS DAY WE FIGHT!" *Aragon from ROTK As is a war cry, the Oracles roared out an earth-shattering '1,2,3...O's' before every inning and struck fear into the hearts of their opponents LINKS: Aileen Brian Cindy Darren Danielle Narita Anime Suki Blizzard Boajjang Doug Haeng Initial D Love Story Mitsubishi LanEvo Transformers Wong Fu Videos Yeti Sports Your Christian Home Addictive Racing Game product of dinah.k
Duel G's mindless rambling... ["A person cannot gain something without losing something, To gain something you need equal value. This is the law of conservation" - Full Metal Alchemist]
unwanted Saturday, May 15, 2004 Where do I begin in my mind of all hopelessness, and lost confusion, heck i warn you ppl i'm not going to make any sense, because my heart is all over the place and i dunno where my point or goal of thie blog entry is...but i guess it's to express how i feel inside..should let it out Lately in my last couple entries about lonliness, sure i still got that feeling in here...cause more of it is being shown and felt lately anywayz. Where to start...School my frds and i have distant and for the most part i hardly see them! except when we are at our lockers for like 2 mins and then we're off, sure at lunch i play big2 with 2 of them, but we're losing it as a gang...sigh and the v-ball team... fee lik i'm the freaking outcast, ppl telling me wtf i'm suppose to do, sure it's a friendly reminder, but you guys/gurls screw up to you don't see me in UR face telling you how u screwd up and how u SHOULD fix it, i don't mind Fei telling me cause i got respect for him, he's the one that taught me 90% of my v-ball skillz to begin with! Sally omgosh u should be the least of the ppl tell me wut I should be doing, your a noob telling ME wut i should do, some ppl should watch their words. Sure Sally is a nice girl and all but she's slowly being corrupted by the other girls on the team. I know i'm the weakest link on the team in terms of being a guy, but it's hard to tell if you girls are going after it or not! omgosh i should just follow Oralces advice "assume that they will miss" WHY do i keep forgetting that whenever Sally is in front ALWAYS assume she'll miss it! cause it's 10 outta 10 that that will happen, maybe i'm just not in my game...i dunno. I wanna play Sr. Boys more..Co-Ed...we can't KILL! it's like 2 times in a game a guy gets set and usually it's Fei cause he has improved soo much! ohh man! yeah and today D is hosting a party and "i'm like wut party?" yeah i'm the only one NOT invited, though i understand i hardly know D and vise versa...anyways that just one of the outcast/lonliness factors..Lets head home for a bit..hmmmm not too good with my mother lately arguing over lil things.. hardly see my Dad, but whenever i get a chance to talk to him we have a good convo about world issues and stuff i learn in that class which is cool. Now to church yet again oh wtfrig...it's the same, but now Nancy it threatening me to go to fellowship now a days, so now i'm forced to go sigh wuts the point of fellowship anymore I'm not sure...want to leave..i dunno. only good thing that happened was getting to catch up with Gloria..I love her..man we've known each other for 14 yrs!!! omgosh! yeah...that was good and i found out my Big Sissy is going on the same missions trip with me this summer Yay! more taunting! lolz and yeah..Back to church i'm not sure if i'll even fit in with the O's this year, new members and some Lumas, quite mixed team hope i get to know them better though i still feel like an outcast or that i'm unwanted HECK i'm unwanted everywhere except in my girls' arms...sigh is it cause i missed 3 practices already?!?! well u ppl are all out on summer break!!! i still got ISUs, Tests! (F*** i failed my last 3 tests) and Hell Exams in 3 weeks...think i got time to do that? ummmm NO i hardly sleep..wait i sleep to much lately damn, cause i know i'll be losing it soon..sigh soo sad. Lately listening to a lot of BoA, Udata Hikiru, and Jay Chow...oh yeah and anything chinese sigh no more english songs..not in the mood..except good ol' Linkin Park hehe. guess my bottom line is i'm unwanted, and it's hard to but on a mask.. ...like a clown i put on a show, pain is real even if nobody knows... sorry Jo i'm stealing this cause it's soo true to wut both of us feel...sigh \| dreamt by Matt on 5/15/2004 10:17:00 p.m. Tuesday, May 11, 2004 Hatred....I will continue afterschool... \| dreamt by Matt on 5/11/2004 07:34:00 a.m.

unwanted

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Where do I begin in my mind of all hopelessness, and lost confusion, heck i warn you ppl i'm not going to make any sense, because my heart is all over the place and i dunno where my point or goal of thie blog entry is...but i guess it's to express how i feel inside..should let it out
Lately in my last couple entries about lonliness, sure i still got that feeling in here...cause more of it is being shown and felt lately anywayz.
Where to start...School my frds and i have distant and for the most part i hardly see them! except when we are at our lockers for like 2 mins and then we're off, sure at lunch i play big2 with 2 of them, but we're losing it as a gang...*sigh* and the v-ball team... fee lik i'm the freaking outcast, ppl telling me wtf i'm suppose to do, sure it's a friendly reminder, but you guys/gurls screw up to you don't see me in UR face telling you how u screwd up and how u SHOULD fix it, i don't mind Fei telling me cause i got respect for him, he's the one that taught me 90% of my v-ball skillz to begin with! Sally omgosh u should be the least of the ppl tell me wut I should be doing, your a noob telling ME wut i should do, some ppl should watch their words. Sure Sally is a nice girl and all but she's slowly being corrupted by the other girls on the team. I know i'm the weakest link on the team in terms of being a guy, but it's hard to tell if you girls are going after it or not! omgosh i should just follow Oralces advice "assume that they will miss" WHY do i keep forgetting that whenever Sally is in front ALWAYS assume she'll miss it! cause it's 10 outta 10 that that will happen, maybe i'm just not in my game...i dunno. I wanna play Sr. Boys more..Co-Ed...we can't KILL! it's like 2 times in a game a guy gets set and usually it's Fei cause he has improved soo much! ohh man! yeah and today D is hosting a party and "i'm like wut party?" yeah i'm the only one NOT invited, though i understand i hardly know D and vise versa...anyways that just one of the outcast/lonliness factors..Lets head home for a bit..hmmmm not too good with my mother lately arguing over lil things.. hardly see my Dad, but whenever i get a chance to talk to him we have a good convo about world issues and stuff i learn in that class which is cool.
Now to church yet again oh wtfrig...it's the same, but now Nancy it threatening me to go to fellowship now a days, so now i'm forced to go *sigh* wuts the point of fellowship anymore I'm not sure...want to leave..i dunno. only good thing that happened was getting to catch up with Gloria..I love her..man we've known each other for 14 yrs!!! omgosh! yeah...that was good and i found out my Big Sissy is going on the same missions trip with me this summer Yay! more taunting! lolz and yeah..Back to church i'm not sure if i'll even fit in with the O's this year, new members and some Lumas, quite mixed team hope i get to know them better though i still feel like an outcast or that i'm unwanted HECK i'm unwanted everywhere except in my girls' arms...*sigh* is it cause i missed 3 practices already?!?! well u ppl are all out on summer break!!! i still got ISUs, Tests! (F*** i failed my last 3 tests) and Hell Exams in 3 weeks...think i got time to do that? ummmm NO i hardly sleep..wait i sleep to much lately damn, cause i know i'll be losing it soon..*sigh* soo sad.
Lately listening to a lot of BoA, Udata Hikiru, and Jay Chow...oh yeah and anything chinese *sigh* no more english songs..not in the mood..except good ol' Linkin Park hehe.
guess my bottom line is i'm unwanted, and it's hard to but on a mask..
*...like a clown i put on a show, pain is real even if nobody knows...*
sorry Jo i'm stealing this cause it's soo true to wut both of us feel...*sigh*

|
dreamt by Matt on 5/15/2004 10:17:00 p.m.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Hatred....I will continue afterschool...

|
dreamt by Matt on 5/11/2004 07:34:00 a.m.

Duel G's mindless rambling... ["A person cannot gain something without losing something, To gain something you need equal value. This is the law of conservation" - Full Metal Alchemist]

unwanted

Saturday, May 15, 2004

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Duel G's mindless rambling...
["A person cannot gain something without losing something, To gain something you need equal value. This is the law of conservation" - Full Metal Alchemist]